Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Top 4 annoying aspects of Miller Park
This writer thinks there is no greater feeling in the world than going to watch a ball game at Miller Park in Milwaukee, WI. Sure you can always watch the game at home, but there is just something great about the sounds, smells and excitement of being at the game. Actually going to the game means I get a lot more entertainment than just a baseball game. I get to put my hard earned high school diploma to use by playing the crazy cap shuffle and I get to see the world famous Klements sausages race to the death (literally they do race to the death. The losing sausage gets thrown into an industrial sized oven after the race. I’m not talking just the sausage suit but the actual person inside of the suit).
Along with any good in the world there must be something bad to go with it, just look at Rosie O Donnell on The View. Miller Park has numerous aspects that I’d like to see changed. This week, Brian’s Sport’s Report focuses on the top four most annoying parts of the Miller Park baseball experience.
1. I understand a business needs to make a profit. I’m all for a society where we make a product and sell it at a higher cost, but who decided that a hot dog should cost $2.75? You know a meal is expensive when as your eating it you are thinking of the hours you had to work in a day to pay for it. Don’t get me started on the ice cream! Would it be so hard to put a little extra ice cream in my dish? I just spent $5 on a bowl of ice cream that could feed a small rabbit for maybe an hour if kept frozen. Ok Suzie, I know you are a volunteer and your church leader told you not to put too much ice cream in anyone’s dish, but cut me a break!
2. Ethnic equality is a very important issue, but there are many other ways to appeal to a certain crowd than to keep adding a sausage to the Klements race every 2 years. If we keep adding sausages it will soon be mathematically impossible for all the sausages to be able to run in a half circle around the field. If you want to appeal to the Hispanic crowd, I say we go full out and release a live bull on the field in the 7th inning when the opposing team is on the field. No better way to celebrate Mexican heritage by allowing bull fighting. Now the player not only has to focus on catching a ball but also keeping himself alive by not getting gored by an angry animal of nature. If the player commits an error in the first 6 innings, then a big red cape must be worn by the outfielder for the rest of the game. If the outfielder commits two errors in the game, then the crowd gets to throw tacos at him on the field.
3. Out of all the items on this list, nothing gets me more fired up than the token drunk guy that tries to start the wave. Come on token drunk guy, sit down and watch the baseball game. If you get the wave going you won’t get any medal and you won’t even remember doing it the next day. I’m more impressed with a 4-6-3 double play than I am with your ability to get 30,000 people to put their hands in the air and say “woooooo”.
4. Does anyone else get the impression that a teenager holding the t shirt cannon automatically thinks they become God of the universe? They run out on the field and hold their hand next to their ear which signals to us that they can’t hear us. They point and try to see who can make the most noise to earn their respect which will motivate them to shoot a t shirt at us. I could care less about the t shirt; Lord knows it’s always an extra large! Shoot something interesting into the crowd like bananas or those little fish you get in the bags at the carnivals. That’s the stuff I’d put my body on the line for.
It’s quite apparent there are some annoying things going on at Miller Park, but that won’t stop me from going to the games. The positives will always out weigh the negatives. So put some ice cream in my dish and shoot me a banana damn it.
Along with any good in the world there must be something bad to go with it, just look at Rosie O Donnell on The View. Miller Park has numerous aspects that I’d like to see changed. This week, Brian’s Sport’s Report focuses on the top four most annoying parts of the Miller Park baseball experience.
1. I understand a business needs to make a profit. I’m all for a society where we make a product and sell it at a higher cost, but who decided that a hot dog should cost $2.75? You know a meal is expensive when as your eating it you are thinking of the hours you had to work in a day to pay for it. Don’t get me started on the ice cream! Would it be so hard to put a little extra ice cream in my dish? I just spent $5 on a bowl of ice cream that could feed a small rabbit for maybe an hour if kept frozen. Ok Suzie, I know you are a volunteer and your church leader told you not to put too much ice cream in anyone’s dish, but cut me a break!
2. Ethnic equality is a very important issue, but there are many other ways to appeal to a certain crowd than to keep adding a sausage to the Klements race every 2 years. If we keep adding sausages it will soon be mathematically impossible for all the sausages to be able to run in a half circle around the field. If you want to appeal to the Hispanic crowd, I say we go full out and release a live bull on the field in the 7th inning when the opposing team is on the field. No better way to celebrate Mexican heritage by allowing bull fighting. Now the player not only has to focus on catching a ball but also keeping himself alive by not getting gored by an angry animal of nature. If the player commits an error in the first 6 innings, then a big red cape must be worn by the outfielder for the rest of the game. If the outfielder commits two errors in the game, then the crowd gets to throw tacos at him on the field.
3. Out of all the items on this list, nothing gets me more fired up than the token drunk guy that tries to start the wave. Come on token drunk guy, sit down and watch the baseball game. If you get the wave going you won’t get any medal and you won’t even remember doing it the next day. I’m more impressed with a 4-6-3 double play than I am with your ability to get 30,000 people to put their hands in the air and say “woooooo”.
4. Does anyone else get the impression that a teenager holding the t shirt cannon automatically thinks they become God of the universe? They run out on the field and hold their hand next to their ear which signals to us that they can’t hear us. They point and try to see who can make the most noise to earn their respect which will motivate them to shoot a t shirt at us. I could care less about the t shirt; Lord knows it’s always an extra large! Shoot something interesting into the crowd like bananas or those little fish you get in the bags at the carnivals. That’s the stuff I’d put my body on the line for.
It’s quite apparent there are some annoying things going on at Miller Park, but that won’t stop me from going to the games. The positives will always out weigh the negatives. So put some ice cream in my dish and shoot me a banana damn it.
